The Crossword Puzzle Of Relationship
by Dr. Alan E Fuller
 

A while back, I had a friend come to me for advice in his
relationship. It seemed that he and his wife were having
some difficulty, and I don't mean normal everyday
difficulty. They were raising a child together, and their
life was in chaos. They had unpaid bills, unmet doctor'
appointments for the kid, and neither of the two knew when
the other was working, so there was no way to provide for a
babysitter for the child.

 All of this added up to create one chaotic, disgruntled environment for the child.

When my friend came to me, he asked me how I happened to
have such a great relationship with my current Sweetheart.
"You don't argue," he said, "at least not that I can tell.
You don't have money problems. You don't worry about who
might be cheating or who's going out of town or anything.


How do you two do it?

Answer: relationships are like crossword puzzles. What I
mean by that is this: in crossword puzzles, you have blank
squares to fill in. Most of the time, especially with the
ones in the weekly newspapers, there are really hard clues
to figure out. You can't do it alone, ever, period. The more
you fill in the blank squares together, the more likely you
win, together. And there are three keys to winning at the
crossword puzzle of relationships

You must communicate. There simply is no alternative to this one. No matter what the subject at hand, you have to take the time to sit down and discuss everything you can possibly come up with that pertains to the topic.

 If you're planning to move in with each other, you have to discuss things like timeframe, who is moving where, whether or not you'll need a bigger space to live in (which could determine whether or not you live in your current space), and whether you're splitting bills directly down the middle. If you don't discuss these things, they'll all end up putting you in a mass of confusion by the time you actually do move in together. And that makes for a messy breakup ... period.

You must cooperate. A relationship is built on teamwork.  It's not a solitary activity. You've probably heard the old
adage, "No man is an island," and it's certainly true for
any relationship. You can't do it alone ... you'll probably
need help, whether it's hired help or the help of friends
and/or family.

 The best thing for you two to do is to sit down and discuss (uh-hum ... communicate) the options. Figure out what you're planning together. Your vision must be a common one, else it won't manifest. Cooperation also means compromise. Both of you can't always have everything
your way ... you have to be willing to give in to the other
sometimes.

You must contribute. You can't just sit down to discuss
something and say, "Oh I don't care ... I'll leave that up
to you." No. Absolutely not. Because if you leave that
decision (no matter what it is) completely up to the other
person, you're likely not going to enjoy the outcome. And
then, you have no reason to gripe or complain.

You let them have at the decision all on their own, so don't complain if it doesn't mean your minimum criteria for a successful decision. You have to contribute to the process, in both decision-making and action-taking.

There is no half-ass job in the world of relationships. And
this applies triple for relationships that you plan on being
life-long partnerships, lifetime spouses. No gray. It's all
black and white, and you have to fill in the blanks.

It's all black and white, and you have to fill in the blanks.


 

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Dr. Alan E. Fuller is an Ultimate Reality & Ultimate
Relationship Coach. Combining his unique gift for tapping
into Divine Consciousness with his talent for clear
communication and in-depth spiritual studies, Doctor Alan's work has opened the hearts and minds of hundreds, bringing them to the doorway of true freedom that lies within, creating unsurpassed emotional and physical intimacy in their relationships. For more, visit his website at http://www.CoachAlan.Info/